Jewish Funeral Prayers: Kaddish, Kel Maleh Rachamim, and the Psalms of Mourning

Jewish Funeral Prayers: Kaddish, Kel Maleh Rachamim, and the Psalms of Mourning. At Kronish Funeral Services, we understand that the words spoken during Jewish mourning are not rituals alone. They are a source of strength when it is needed most.  The prayers recited at a Jewish funeral affirm faith, support healing, and connect a grieving family to a shared history spanning centuries.

This guide gathers the prayers families ask about most — what each one says, when it is recited, and who says it — so you can walk into a service knowing what to expect.

What This Guide Covers

• The Mourner’s Kaddish — who recites it, and for how long
• Kel Maleh Rachamim, the Prayer of Mercy, and its variations
• Psalms 23, 121, and 90, with full English texts
• Which prayers are said at each stage of mourning
• Comforting expressions, including Hamakom Ye’nachem and “May their memory be a blessing”
• Frequently asked questions about Jewish funeral prayers

Prayers at a Jewish Funeral at a Glance

Most Jewish funeral and memorial services draw on the same small group of prayers. The table below shows when each is recited and who traditionally says it.

The Mourner’s Kaddish: A Prayer About Life

The Mourner’s Kaddish is the cornerstone of Jewish mourning, and it never mentions death. Instead, it praises God and asks for peace, which is precisely why it consoles: it turns the mourner outward, toward faith and community, at the moment grief is most isolating.

Who Recites the Mourner’s Kaddish?

The Kaddish is traditionally recited by the immediate mourners — a spouse, parent, child, or sibling of the person who has died. It is said in the presence of a minyan, a gathering of at least ten Jewish adults, which means no mourner ever says these words alone.  During the funeral, it may be offered at the close of the service or at the graveside; through shiva it is recited at a daily minyan, often in the family’s home.

How Long is Kaddish Recited After the Loss of a Parent?

Children who have lost a parent traditionally recite the Mourner’s Kaddish daily for eleven months, ending just before the first yahrzeit — the anniversary of the death on the Hebrew calendar.  For a spouse, sibling, or child, the customary period is thirty days, through the end of shloshim.  Practice varies by community and by rabbinic guidance, and many families find that the daily obligation itself becomes the structure that carries them through the year.

What the Kaddish Does for Mourners

• Reaffirms belief in God at the moment faith is hardest to hold.
• Marks the beginning of life after loss, offering continuity rather than an ending.
• Joins the mourner to Jews worldwide reciting the same words in the same rhythm.
• Builds a daily routine of gathering, which many families describe as the most sustaining part of the mourning year.

The Mourner’s Kaddish in English

The Kaddish is recited in Aramaic and Hebrew, but many families find comfort in reading the English alongside it:

“May the great Name of God be exalted and sanctified throughout the world, created as God wills.  May the Divine Presence be established in your lifetime and in the days of all the House of Israel, swiftly and soon — and let us say: Amen.

May God’s great Name be blessed forever and to all eternity.

Blessed and praised, glorified and exalted, extolled and honored, adored and lauded is the Name of the Holy One — blessed be God.

May peace abound from heaven, and life, upon us and upon all Israel — and let us say: Amen.

May the One who makes peace in high places make peace upon us and upon all Israel — and let us say: Amen.”

Kel Maleh Rachamim: the Prayer of Mercy

Where the Kaddish speaks of God, Kel Maleh Rachamim speaks of the person who has died. It asks that their soul be granted perfect rest beneath the wings of the Divine Presence, in the company of the righteous. A cantor or rabbi usually chants it in Hebrew, and the melody is often what families remember most clearly years later.

It is recited at the funeral, at memorial services, at graveside visits, at the unveiling of a headstone, and on the yahrzeit.

Kel Maleh Rachamim in English

“God, filled with mercy, who dwells on high, grant perfect rest beneath the wings of Your Divine Presence, among the holy and the pure, to the soul of [name], child of [parent’s name], who has gone to their eternal rest.  In their memory, charity has been given.  May the Master of Mercy shelter them forever in the shadow of His wings, and may their soul be bound up in the bond of life.  The Eternal is their heritage; may they rest in peace.  And let us say: Amen.”

Variations of the Kel Maleh Rachamim Prayer

The wording is adjusted to the person being mourned, which is one of the quiet ways Jewish tradition insists that no life is interchangeable:

• For a man or a woman: the prayer refers to nishmato (“his soul”) or nishmatah (“her soul”).
• For a child: a distinct formulation acknowledges the innocence and particular spiritual standing of a child’s soul.
• For members of the armed forces: the text may name their service and sacrifice, making the prayer a tribute to courage as well as a plea for rest.
• For a martyr or victim of violence: some communities add language recognizing the circumstances of the death.

Ask your rabbi or cantor which version they will use, and confirm the Hebrew name of the deceased and of their parent in advance — it is the one detail families most often need help assembling on the day of the funeral.

The Psalms Recited at Jewish Funerals

Alongside the formal prayers, a rabbi will usually read from the Book of Psalms.  Three appear most often, and each does different work: Psalm 23 comforts, Psalm 121 reassures, and Psalm 90 puts a single life in the scale of generations.

Psalm 23: “The Lord Is My Shepherd”

The most beloved of the Psalms, traditionally attributed to King David, likens God to a shepherd who guides and protects through every stage of life — including the valley of the shadow of death.  Its cadence is familiar even to those who rarely attend services, which is part of why it steadies a room.

“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.  He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.  He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.  Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.  Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.  Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.”

Psalm 121: a Song of Ascents

Psalm 121 is one of fifteen Songs of Ascents, sung by pilgrims climbing toward Jerusalem.  Its opening question — where will my help come from? — names the mourner’s experience exactly, and the psalm answers it immediately: help comes from the Maker of heaven and earth, who neither slumbers nor sleeps.  It is often read at the graveside, where the assurance of a keeper who does not sleep lands hardest.

“I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.  My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth.  He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber.  Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep.  The Lord is thy keeper: the Lord is thy shade upon thy right hand.  The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night.  The Lord shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul.  The Lord shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore.”

Psalm 90: The Brevity of Life and the Plea for Wisdom

Psalm 90 does not console by softening loss; it consoles by widening the frame.  It measures human life against eternity, acknowledges that our years pass quickly, and then asks for the only thing that makes brevity bearable — a heart of wisdom.  Families often choose it for a memorial service or a shloshim gathering, when the shock has passed, and reflection begins.

“O God, You have been our refuge in every generation.  Before the mountains came into being, before You brought forth the earth and the world, from eternity to eternity You are God.  You return us to dust; Your decree: ‘Return, you mortals!’  For in Your sight a thousand years are as yesterday when it has passed, as a watch in the night.  The span of our life is threescore years and ten, or, given strength, fourscore years.  Teach us, therefore, so to number our days that we may attain a heart of wisdom.  Turn to us, O God!  Show mercy to Your servants.  Satisfy us at daybreak with Your steadfast love, that we may sing for joy all our days.  Establish the work of our hands that it may long endure.”

Prayers at Each Stage of Jewish Mourning

Jewish funeral prayers are not confined to a single hour.  They accompany a family from the moment of death through the first anniversary and beyond.

• Before the funeral — taharah: members of the Chevra Kadisha recite Psalms and prayers as they wash and dress the body in tachrichim, plain white shrouds worn by rich and poor alike.  Shomrim (guards) stay with the deceased, often reading Psalms until burial.
• At the funeral — the levaya: the rabbi leads Psalms and Kel Maleh Rachamim, a short eulogy honors the person’s character, and the Mourner’s Kaddish closes the service.  There is no public viewing or open casket, and the coffin is plain wood.
• At the graveside: mourners recite Psalms or stand in silence, and a final prayer is said as earth is placed on the coffin by hand — at once a farewell and a blessing for peace.
• During shiva: a minyan gathers in the home so the Mourner’s Kaddish can be recited daily, and visitors offer words of comfort as they leave.
• Through shloshim and the eleven months: Kaddish continues at daily or Shabbat services, and Psalm 90 is often read as the family moves from acute grief to remembrance.
• On the yahrzeit: the family lights a memorial candle that burns twenty-four hours, recites Kaddish, and may hear Kel Maleh Rachamim chanted again in their loved one’s memory.

These customs share a single logic: humility.  The service is brief, the casket is simple, the shrouds are identical, and the prayers turn attention to the soul’s journey rather than to display.

Comforting Words Beyond the Formal Prayers

Some of the most meaningful things said during Jewish mourning are not prayers at all, but short phrases the tradition puts in a visitor’s mouth when nothing else comes.

Hamakom Ye’nachem

Ha-makom yenachem etchem b’toch she’ar aveilei Tziyon v’Yerushalayim — “May God comfort you among the other mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.”  It is the traditional line spoken to mourners at a shiva call, usually as the visitor leaves.  Its power is that it does not attempt an explanation; it places one family’s grief inside a much older, shared grief.

“May Their Memory be a Blessing”

Rooted in Proverbs 10:7, this phrase is said when speaking of someone who has died and when offering condolences to their family.  In Hebrew it is zikhrono livrakha for a man and zikhrona livrakha for a woman, and it is often abbreviated in English as OBM, “of blessed memory.”

זכרונו לברכה  (zikhrono livrakha) — for a man

זכרונה לברכה  (zikhrona livrakha) — for a woman

The phrase is both a wish and a charge: that the goodness of a life should keep producing good in the world through the people who remember it.

The Yahrzeit Candle Prayer

On each anniversary of a death, families light a candle that burns for twenty-four hours.  There is no single required text; many recite the Mourner’s Kaddish, read a Psalm, or speak a personal reflection as the candle is lit.  Some families add El Malei Rachamim, and many simply sit with the light for a few minutes before the day begins.

Frequently Asked Questions

Do You Need a Minyan to say the Mourner’s Kaddish?

Traditionally yes — the Kaddish is a communal declaration and requires a minyan of ten Jewish adults.  When a minyan cannot be assembled, mourners often read a Psalm or a personal meditation instead and say Kaddish at the next available service.  Many synagogues will help arrange a minyan in the home during shiva.

Can a Woman Recite the Mourner’s Kaddish?

In Reform, Conservative, and Reconstructionist communities, women recite Kaddish on the same terms as men.  Practice in Orthodox communities varies by congregation, and a rabbi can advise on local custom.

Are Jewish Funeral Prayers said in Hebrew or English?

Most are recited in Hebrew, and the Kaddish largely in Aramaic.  It is entirely common to read an English translation alongside the Hebrew so that everyone present can follow, and many families ask the rabbi to do exactly that.

What Is Said When Someone First Learns of a Death?

On hearing of a death, it is traditional to say Baruch Dayan HaEmet — “Blessed is the Judge of truth” — an acknowledgment offered before any attempt at explanation.

Can Non-Jewish Friends Take Part in the Prayers?

Yes. Guests of any faith are welcome to attend, stand with the family, listen, and read English translations.  Adding earth to the grave and offering words of comfort are gestures anyone can share.

What Prayer is Said at an Unveiling?

Kel Maleh Rachamim is chanted at the unveiling of the headstone, usually with a Psalm and the Mourner’s Kaddish.  Unveilings typically take place within the first year after burial.

How Kronish Funeral Services Supports Prayer and Tradition

We work closely with rabbis, cantors, and cemeteries so that every stage — from taharah through the levaya to burial — is carried out in keeping with Halacha and with your family’s custom.  We provide clean, private spaces for the Chevra Kadisha and for shomrim to recite Psalms before burial, and we guide families on which prayers are said when, including the Kaddish at shiva and on the yahrzeit.

If you are unsure what to expect or what will be asked of you, tell us.  Our role is to make sure each prayer is said with clarity and shared remembrance, and that no one is left guessing during a service.

Planning Ahead is a Mitzvah

Arranging a Jewish funeral in advance is widely regarded as a mitzvah — an act of chesed toward the people who would otherwise have to decide for you.  When the details are settled beforehand, a family can spend the day mourning and remembering rather than making choices under pressure.

• Peace of mind: knowing the arrangements are in place lowers the emotional weight on everyone.
• A service that reflects you: you can name the prayers, Psalms, and readings that matter most.
• Financial clarity: decisions made calmly allow for thoughtful budgeting and no surprise costs.
• Alignment with Jewish values: advance planning honors tradition while caring for family and community.

Kronish Funeral Services can walk you through each step, from the selection of prayers to the preparation of the taharah to a quiet space for family reflection.  Contact us to begin the conversation whenever you are ready.

Mark Sunshine

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